Social Issues Research Centre (SIRC), an independent, not-for-profit organisation, says that 8 out of 10 women are not pleased with their look and don’t love their bodies.
Among the factors that contribute to this situation, SIRC states: TV, billboards, magazines etc. All of them promote an every year thinner beauty models, teaching the population to get accustomed to extremely rigid and uniform standards of beauty.
Considering these, it comes at no surprise that one of the most popular resolutions this New Year 2017 among women is starting another miraculous diet to acquire the desired weight and looks.
All researches done by this institution in regards to body image show that women are much more critical of their appearance than men. Also, men generally have a much more positive view on their image body and their physical attractiveness, no matter how their weight is.
One of the explanations for this differences in how men and women look at themselves, may consist in the long history of societies setting higher beauty standards for females than for males. Not only that women were appreciated only by their physical appearance, but for centuries they were regarded more intelligent, based on that single criterion.
Today, media is the worst enemy of women self-esteem, bombarding them on a daily basis with that ideal Barbie image, inflicting their self-esteem with negative thoughts when looking in the mirror, comparing themselves with the false standard.
And although occasional pictures of actresses or singers taken when they’re not prepared for photo shoots, highlight that in reality they are not as beautiful as the pictorials state, people all over the world still judge women by this false standards. Compared with the supra-natural (fake)beauty in the pictorials, simple normal beauty appears fade and uninteresting.
What women should do in this case? How could they overcome this negative media influence and how they may come to love their body as it is.
Accept your body the way it is
There is famous quote of the personality-centered psychologist Carl Rogers about personality changing which may very well apply in this case too:
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
You cannot lose weight untill you accept your body the way it is. Period.
According to the personality-centered psychologist, we tend to feel and behave in ways which are consistent with our self-image and which reflect our that self. If our self-image is contorted and negative, our impulse would be to do things that keep the existing state of affairs.
Not a slightest change will intervene untill you first learn to have a positive self-image and of your body. Now. With THIS weight.
Your body is not the obstacle, but the vehicle to accomplishing your dreams. Love your body.
Get rid of negative people in your life
I am quite sure that in the life of almost any woman who gain weight is at least one negative person around her, most of the time the husband or the boyfriend.
Negative people think they have the right to control your thoughts, actions, and generally your life.
A toxic husband will criticize you all day long, starting with your first coffee or cappuccino and ending with the way you look. He’ll tell you that you’re plain fat or obese, that other women look much better than you. He even thinks he’ll make you a favor by staying besides you and calls that love.
THIS IS NOT TRUE. That is not love, that is need for control.
He puts you down every day because he enjoy humiliating and making you suffer, not because he loves you. He himself has a very low self-esteem, hates himself and projects that hate on you. All he wants is to make you to hate yourself too, and to show you how to ridicule and humiliate yourself.
He doesn’t love you. He does not love himself either. He’s not even capable of love. He does not realize it but surely he did not sort out his own life issues.
And if he is verbally and/or physically aggressive, chances are he’s a psychopath.
Get rid of him as quickly as possible, if you can afford it.
If you cannot, say you’re afraid of him, or you have religious beliefs that a marriage should not be dissolved from any reason (although churches really should encourage this type of divorce) or if he is so sly that he assaults you only when you two are alone and you cannot have a witness for his aggressive behavior, then try to stay away from him as much as possible.
Love your body as yourself
It’s time to take control of your life and start to live a wonderful life. Go to the mirror and tell yourself you deserve to be loved the way you are, not a single pound less.
Take time to meditate on your strengths and use them to show your real value. You’re not that weak person you were made to think you are. All you need for a successful life is there within you.
Sooth yourself and shower yourself with the love and compassion you have for others.
Celebrate your uniqueness. You cannot find in others that set of characteristics that describe your unique personality, why don’t you learn to admire yourself for that?
Surround yourself with positive people. Emotions are contagious and staying by negative pessimistic people will make you feel the same. On the contrary, positive people will teach you how to focus and enjoy the bright side of life.